Nothing Compares To You

Original post from April 7th, 2017

Today’s writing is more or less a love story.. Starring, yours truly! Oh, and Jesus of course!

As a child I was always full of, hmm, spunk, if you will. Pretty normal stuff went on, running and playing in the creek – I was raised on a farm from age 9 – prior to that, we moved a handful of times, much of which I can’t fully remember. I just know that at age 14 everything began to change for me. The happiness once felt around the house, or happiness I felt around the house, was gone. I have to stop here and tell you, I wasn’t raised in church, nor was I ever truly introduced to who Jesus was until I was well in my adulthood and had severely messed my life up. I remember making appearances at church for one important day, you know the one, yup, Easter, but that’s about it. I blame no one for this, my parents did the best with what they were given and shown in their own childhood, which is all any of us can do in life, this goes all the way down the line of my heritage. That being said, divorce took place and this began a downward spiral in my own heart.

Long story short, at 17 I began drinking, marijuana followed, along with cigarettes and eventually I was introduced to pain pills. Now, during this time, I thought I was just having fun. I wasn’t hurting anybody, right? Wrong. It effects everyone around you, it is a horrible devastating path taken by so many that do not know of the forgiving and gracious love of God and how it can protect you from such things. He is our comforter, but if you were never taught that how can you be held accountable? Again, you do the best with what you have been given. Anyway, this carried me through the next 9 years, it wasn’t an every day consistent thing, there were moments of clarity, but not many and they didn’t last very long. At age 26 I found myself living with a salesman, we’ll call him, but not the car kind, police knocking on my door because of a domestic abuse call, throwing methamphetamine pills down the toilet. This was the most significant moment in my life to realizing the weight of the decisions I had made because of my pain. The storm blew over and I did not end up in jail, miraculously.

Needless to say me and said guy are no longer together, he left when the police did. Roughly a month after this took place I was invited to a local church revival by a friend, I did not want to go, honestly, I was under the influence at the revival, but something happened that glorious night and God was able to get through my heart of stone. After my scare with the police, I knew there needed to be a change, but Jesus? I wasn’t so sure He even existed, after all, where had He been when I tried to take my own life, when depression had such a hold on me that overdose took my very breath, through the mental, verbal, sexual, and physical abuse I experienced throughout my life?? Perhaps waiting for this particular moment when I was willing to listen. I gave my heart to HIm and He took addiction from me immediately. I not longer need drugs, alcohol, or sex to feel a void because His love and grace covers every inch of my broken heart.

His love is unlike anything I have experienced in my entire of love. He is always there for me, He wants the best for me, He is always fighting my battles for me, He is in relentless pursuit of my heart day in and day out and I will never, ever understand it. I am so thankful He chose to wake me up from a life of destruction. Hey, guess what? He can and wants to do the same for you! He loves you! His “scandalous grace” is enough to cover whatever sin or struggle you face in this life. He died to save you from yourself and devastating blow of death through sin.

I’m not certain about a lot in life, but this I am, Jesus was there. He was there when the bottle tried to kill me, He was there when pills tried to suffocate me, He was there when the only thing I could see was a worthless, waste of space and just wanted it to end it all.

He was there with me and He is there with you too!

Nothing compares to His love for you.

Much love,

K