Hello

Life is messy. 

I grew up in a small town in southern Kentucky, on a farm, and at one point or another we had horses, pigs, rabbits, cows, dogs, cats, goats, and a beautiful garden. I can remember sitting on the porch swing, getting the veggies ready for canning, with the smell of drying tobacco hanging in a nearby barn floating through the air. I miss that farm. I miss that life. Of course, at the time I couldn't wait to get as far away as possible. Oh adolescence, how I do not miss you! Fast forward to now, I am 36 years old, with an almost two year old, living in an actual small town. We have a Walmart, so hey, that's something! Between then and now, there has been a lot of life happening. Much of which you can dive in deeper to my blog and discover, but I'll give you the highlights...

At 15, I discovered I had an anxiety disorder and was placed on a prescription medication, by 16, I was dependent on that medication. At 17 I started drinking and dabbling with Marijuana. For the next 3 years this cycle continued, drugs, sex, codependent relationships. Then, I married my first husband. He was nothing like me, he was much older, had two beautiful boys, and during our short lived 2 year marriage, they were my high. I continued using during this time, but not to the degree I had before or after. At 23 we divorced and I started using opioids at my escape from reality. In addition to alcohol, anxiety meds, and marijuana. By the time I was 26, I was homeless, carless, jobless, and so completely broken that I looked for love in those that hurt me. Where, if you know you know, it can not be found. But God! When I was 26 years old, on April 7th, 2015, I met Jesus. I was an atheist at the time and had no desire to change, but a friend of mine invited me to a revival service at her church. After much grumbling, avoiding, and ditching her the first go around, I decided to go. I don't know what exactly happened that day, but I'll tell you this... I walked in to that building so high I couldn't see straight and I walked out completely sober and have been ever since. God didn't just save my soul from hell, He has given me the most amazing years to date. They have been the most challenging, but also the most rewarding. I am now a college graduate with my Bachelors Degree, a Nurse, and married to a hard working man that loves me, despite my psycho tendencies. We have a daughter named Presley (like Elvis, ha!), and a pup named Bear. Our life is far from perfect, but it will forever be better than any day I had prior to that Spring evening in April, nearly 10 years ago. I share all of this to say, I've been through a lifetime of changes, and in every one I wish I had someone to say, "this is what helped me," or "I know how you feel," because sometimes it is hard to find these people. Having been through all the things I have, writing is a way for me to come in to your world and tell you, "I know how you feel." Our stories may not be identical, or even close, but in them somewhere is a bridge we can use to empathize with one another. I hope my failures, frustrations, battles, and victories will have something that the vast majority can relate to. If not, this is an outlet for me, and that is more than enough! :)

Much love,

K